By Rev. Dick Sparling
There are many words that in themselves describe some experience in our lives. There are those that bring positive thoughts and those that are negative. One of the negative words is "regret". .
Webster defines regret as
"Remorse implying a sense of sorrow about events in the past, usually wrongs committed or errors made. Regret is a feeling of sorrow or disappointment for what has been done or not been done."
With this definition in mind, no one can say, "I have no regrets," for that would mean that we have lived a perfect life. For me and I believe for all who read this article, the regrets are more than we would like to admit. These can be from things that are not very serious all the way to very serious incidents that have hurt us or others.
The Psalmist wrote,
“I will declare my iniquity; will be sorry for my sin.”
A classic example in Scripture comes from the life of Peter.
Matt. 26:31 “All you shall be offended because of me this night.” (The words of Jesus).
Matt 26:33
"Peter answered and said unto Him:, 'Though all men shall_ be offended because of you, yet will I never be offended.'
Matt. 26:34
“Jesus said unto him, 'I say unto you that this night before the cock crows, you shall deny me three times.'”
Matt. 26:35
“Peter said unto Him, 'Though I should die with you, yet will I not deny you.'”
His Actions
Matt. 26:69-74
"Peter sat ,outside in the courtyard."
He denied knowing Jesus 'three tittles ,(vs. 70,. 72, 74) His denial was harsh. We are told he denied knowing Jesus "…with an oath.
" and :began to curse and to swear, saying, know not the man." -
Jesus had told him in Matt: 26:34 that he would deny Him three times. After the third denial,
"…immediately the cock crowed:" (vs. 74).
Peter's' Reaction
Matt. 26:75 Peter remembered the words of Jesus,
“…and he went out and wept bitterly”
He was experiencing REGRET or SORROW. What he had done was bad, but Worse; it could not be undone.
In looking at this story, it is interesting to note that Peter's regret is for not doing What he promised - and doing what he promised not to do. The result was emotional upset from-the regret or sorrow.
Another classic example in the New Testament is in the life of Judas. In Matthew 26:35 he was with the other disciples who promised never, to deny Jesus. He not only denied Jesus but betrayed Him in an unbelievable way.
Matt. 26:47 -
"While He yet spoke, lo, Judas, one of the twelve, came and with him a great multitude with swords and clubs from the chief priests and elders of the people.
Matt. 26:48, 49 -
Now he that betrayed Him gave them a sign Saying, ‘Whomsoever I shall kiss that same is He; hold Him fast’ ...He came to Jesus... and kissed Him.”
Matt. 26:50 -
“Then came they and laid hands on Jesus and took Him.”
His Regret
After seeing what he had done there was deep regret.
Matt. 27c:
“He hanged himself.” (Read Matt. 27:3-5)
Regret can obviously be a sad and upsetting experience for us. For myself, the regrets are probably enough to fill a book. In fact, - I am finding it hard to pick one as an example. Even though I've been forgiven by the Lord, when I think about some. things I did in past years, particularly my years in the Navy and in my early twenties, I feel regret. The sad thing is, I can't do anything about it.
Regret is experienced because of what we do, acts, words spoken, promises made and broken, bad decisions, and so on. It can be anything where we hurt ourselves . or others: There is no way every area can be discussed in this short article. I will concentrate on one, the use of our tongue. An example from my life comes from my relationship with my mother. I said something where my father spoke to me later and said, "You know, you hurt your mother." I can't remember what I did to her but I remember the words of my father and to this day experience regret. It is now many years since Mom's home going and when I think of it, I still feel regret and sorrow.
The challenge for us is to guard our tongues so we will eliminate the experience of regret. In counseling I used to tell folk to "get holes in your tongue!" meaning bite your tongue, don't say what you later will regret. .
James wrote,
"Wherefore, my 'beloved brethren, let every man be slow to speak, slow to wrath." James 1:19.
Eph. 4:29
"Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth but that which is good to the use of edification, that it may minister grace to the hearers."
Col. 4:6
"Let your speech be always with grace."
I Peter 3:10
"For he that will love life and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil and his lips that they speak no guile."
What do We do when we are experiencing regret? First, we should when possible correct the action or problem we created. The Scriptures tell us ,what else we can and should do.
"Now I rejoice, not that you were made sorry (regrets) but that you sorrowed to - repentance, for you were made sorry after a: godly manner." II Cor. 7:9.
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